Its been a really long time that i blogged about heart renderings and mind ramblings. So, in order to cleanse my mind and pour my heart, here’s a post that will be a much needed catharsis for myself and hopefully, a good read for you.
There are days when you wake up to a smiling, happy, busy day ahead and there are days when there is a coldness in the air, like a foreboding silence lurking; yet there will be days you wake up with time in your hand to sit back and stare at the sun, some good music playing and lot of time to introspect.
No two days are similar; SAME GOES WITH OUR LIFE , we go through phases in our life, different all, of those different from each other. And what do we do, we always try to beat ourselves in trying to bring all phases of our lives to the best one we had.
I often sit back and think about how people and relations around me think and work. I always find most of my girl pals especially, giving their own selves a very hard time constantly muling over how they looked in past and how they are not their best self now.
Reminiscising the past and the whole nostalgia vibe does give you a proud,mushy ,warm feeling ,and we often like to seek comfort and revel in how we looked in the past . While some of us draw inspiration from our own looks,fitness levels,youthful, glowing skin in the past and try to maintain ourselves,some of us beat ourselves and make it a reason of our unhappiness,stress,lack of confidence and depression.
Many a times we compete with people and trends around and put ourselves under much strain.And if any space in self bashing is left, much chagrin is added by our so called friends,acquaintances and relations.
YES, isn’t it true? Don’t we all know someone or the other who sometimes very gently ,sometimes sarcastically and yet another times to generate much humour slide in remarks about our age, height, weight, boniness,shape, bachelorhood, motherhood,nerdy looks and what not etc that often render us speechless or tongue -tied ;and sometimes with a twitch in our heart and ;sometimes deeply wounded BUT AT ALL TIMES SELF-CONSCIOUS!
I have often seen people around me, many a times,completely ignoring to acknowledge the commendable work done or achievements but would make it a point to specially take time out to reach out and point out any signs of weakness, faltering or failures if any. .This often raises a question.WOULD WE EVER BE ENOUGH!! Someone amongst us would always be too skinny or weak and plastic; someone too fair or made -up , someone too dark ;too short- heighted or tall; too fat hence,a glutton or a slag ;slut shamed to be single or flirty or even a gold- digger and so on.
I am suddenly reminded of one such instance when once grocery shopping in the market i happened to come across a long lost friend,upon looking at her i literally ran towards her with sheer joy to give her a bear hug but was rather welcomed by quite a judgey remark about how i looked and was admonished at not fulfilling my duty of planning motherhood and still enjoying life like a newly wed!!! ……. For few seconds i was dumbstruck and caught in a tight corner. A very small incident and a casual matter if you see,but had this occured some time before it would have probably caused me much pain,anger and the feel to retaliate, ending up wounded ,sulking or withdrawn.BUT NOT ANYMORE .
I laughed it out and turned the conversation to a whole new side as it didn’t really matter .IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU,YOUR LOOKS ,YOUR LIFE CHOICES ,YOUR DECISIONS!! AS ITS YOUR JOURNEY AND NOT ANY ONE ELSE’S.
We must remember that we evolve each passing moment of our life sometimes for the good,and ahead a few steps than before and yet some days we see ourselves relegating backwards, not progressing rather , regressing.
ITS OK TO BE NOT OK or, in your best frame always,Its OK to be pushed back a few steps.ITS LIFE NOT A RACE.
There are gazillion of us mere mortals in this world ,each one has descended on this Earth with one life,one purpose, a greater reason to be on this place.Each one of us born with our own perspective and ideologies in this society .Can we make each one happy??Can we fit into every mold or frame construed by this society?? Do we need to??
NO! WE DON’T . WE CAN’T! There comes a point in life where each one needs to ask ourselves these questions. We are not born to a lifetime of trying to fit into definitions conceived by others for us. We need to break the definitions. Anything and everything that starts burdening our existence and our soul doesn’t want to bend to,needs to be stood against.ALL TABOOS AND STEREOTYPES made by others need to be vanquished.
And to do that my fellow friends we need to embrace,caress,love and protect our own real self first.We must see the good in us at all times; We must count on and trust our instincts at all times; if we only won’t ,then who else will?!
Admire our own idiosyncracies, our oddness ,our little crazy selves ; our own flaws ( if at all we want to call them that),WELL, THAT’s what makes us our own special selves.
We need to understand what makes us truly happy,what kindles our soul and ignites our mind.And that my dearies would be our true calling.We can’t force ourselves to do what our peers are doing ,if that doesn’t interest` us; we can’t dress up or behave like our siblings because that put-up act or facade won’t last for long and would be a sham.Its sometimes really scary to be different or not fit in, but definitely worth your life and your comfort.YOU CAN’T BE SOMEONE YOU ARE NOT,FOR LONG.
We can’t allow anyone and everyone to affect us in any way that shakes our faith and love in our own real self. Not fitting into the stereotypes of how one should be, or how one’s suppose to lead one’s life be it, in terms of BEAUTY,FASHION,BODY TYPE,LOOKS, STATUS,CAREER,MARRIAGE OR MOTHERHOOD. We can’t allow judgements to affect us to a point that hamper or alter our course of chosen life.
FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF; WIPE YOUR OWN TEARS;LAUGH AT YOUR OWN SILLINESS; BE YOUR OWN COMPLETE!!!!
The above mentioned line,once upon a time struck a cord within me and has stuck with my soul ever since.I HOPE IT REACHES OUT TO YOU THE SAME WAY AND HEALS WOUNDS IF ANY,UNTIES KNOTS IF ANY ,RENDERS YOU FREE OF SHACKLES IF ANY….AND INSPIRES YOU ANYHOW.
We must feel free to dream; free to fly.Also,learn to let go of our dreams.Be anything and nothing at all!!
Wear what you please, travel;dress up; be raunchy or geeky; foodie or a fitness freak; speak up ,be brash or quiet or moody; fall in love with the same person again and again or fall in love with different;read or not; gaze at stars or be a hopeless romantic Flaunt your curves and take pride in your bony structure. Be raw, be polished; BE YOU. Choose to be you.You are a work of art in itself. You live,therefore,you Exist.
JUST LIBERATE ,liberate yourself from the vulnerability of getting hurt and conscious of the judgements and harsh criticisms.The day you will realize it no more matters what they think of or,expect out of you.The day you don’t feel the need to be defined anymore.
On a personal front i feel that i have as a person finally come of age now..I have come to love and respect who i am and who i have come to be.I am more accepting of myself than ever before; more comfortable in my own skin.No more do i feel the need to validate my actions ,no more do i care of opinions about me .In the ever changing myriad of Life;LOVE STRUCK, A DEVOTIONAL ,ENLIGHTENING,LIBERATING KIND OF LOVE ,I FOUND MY CONSTANT IN MY SELF. I consciously choose to eliminate toxicity in any form or manner from my life.As we progress in age,life and maturity ,we no more feel the need to be surrounded by a huge group of peers or be a part of happening crowds as comfort,reality and loyalty preceeds validation and you find yourself with less but valuable companionships that know you inside out and are all accepting of you and love you just the incredible special way you are.SUCH RELATIONS ARE FOR KEEPS.
While i talk about how if we embrace ourselves the way we are and shower some SELF-LOVE on to our special being, none of this matters,YET A WORD OR TWO TO OUR VERY CONCERNED ,CARING WELL WISHERS… with my hands folded,thank you so much for your love and concern but there is always a better and more polite way of trespassing someone’s personal space. And if at all you may, or are genuinely concerned.PLEASE keep in mind your one question,judgement,taunt or tease can cost someone dearly their life,their confidence or self -esteem,as you can’t even begin to imagine or fathom how they have reached to the point where they are.A moment of your casual remarks can stay in someone’s psyche and scar them for life.
I CHOOSE TO BASK IN GLORY OF MYSELF,EACH DAY , EACH MINUTE.
I CHOOSE TO BE MY OWN ,BEFORE I AM OF THIS WORLD OR ANYONE ELSE’S.
On this note ,i intend to rest my pen and my thoughts.This piece is a heart pour as much cathartic for self as it is written for my darling readers to connect and send positive vibes to.I hope anyone and everyone if at all ,going through any lows in life.LETS BE EACH OTHER’S GUIDING LIGHT. AND HEY, REMEMBER TO BE YOUR OWN COMPLETE COZ ,THEY DON’T MATTER.
UNTIL NEXT TIME CHAO !! STAY POSITIVE! REVEL IN SELF LOVE!
BUT MOST OF ALL BE THANKFUL FOR A HUMAN LIFE AND BE HUMANE TO OTHERS!!
ITS VASHI / THAT Pashmina Girl signing off!!!